Johnnie Walker

I am trapped in a tiny apartment under a citizen’s arrest. There are people below vowing to kill me day and night, citing all the hurtful and wrong things I have done in my life. Behind a volume of Don Quixote, I discover to my delight a half-full bottle of Red Label. The bottle is soft, and I notice it has two breasts in the front of it. – Touch my breasts, the bottle says, from a little mouth that I cannot found. – I would much rather drink from them, I say. The bottle begins to change in my hand: the breasts become testicles, the neck elongates into a penis. I lift the bottle up and begin to drink.