The Test of Love

This is the test of love, a pretty woman says to me. She leads me into a room with a couch and a television set. She flips on the television set and hands me a cable-remote with seven buttons. She tells me I can watch anything I like, and then leaves the room. On each channel is a pornographic video. As I study the channels, I discover that each video loops back after about eight minutes. On one channel, for example, a woman is being fucked by two men, but just at the point of climax the screen flips back to the moment when she is giving them both head. On another channel, a Mexican woman is bouncing on top of her boyfriend by a pool. He cries out something in Spanish, and she gets off him, preparing for the money shot, when she is suddenly bouncing on top of him again. After about thirty minutes, I discover the allegory, and know I am going to pass this test. Love is this brief moment, I think, this sudden rupture in the tape when the clip loops back on itself. I pull at the door handle, but the room is locked. I study each channel again, making sure I have identified all seven moments when the pornographic video clip loops back. Now I’m kicking and banging on the door. I have passed the test! I shout. Let me out of here! But something tells me that no one is coming for me for a long time.