Castration Epic (Part 2)

I’ve got to get out of here, I think. I leave the table and run up to my room. I begin pacing, looking out at the forest from my window. I find a Winston cigarette from an old leather pouch. The cigarette is yellow and smells like urine. I run downstairs, three stairs at a time, speaking to no one, burst out the front doors and head straight into the woods. I go deep, where no one can find me. The woods are filled will blueberries and trees with yellow flowers. I reach a chasm of luscious vegetation with a little path leading down. – It’s beautiful! I shout, as though to waken the stones. Immediately, I am in the back seat of my mother’s car on the highway, staring at the same landscape zooming by. – What did you say, George? She says. My grandfather is in the front seat and Shelley is on his lap. She is wearing a pink bikini top. – The landscape is beautiful, I say. – You smell like urine, my grandfather says. Jenny laughs. My grandfather returns to his story about being on the corvette ship in the second world war. His wrinkled hand caresses Shelley's skin. – You've got nice breasts, he says to her. I try to open the door but I hear my mother flick the child lock from the front seat. – You just sit tight, George, she says. I lean back and look up at the sky from the rear window. My long hair is blowing all over the place. I touch my head and my hair is coming off in clumps. I am going bald almost instantly.